Q:What information will the school give me about my student?

A:Our primary relationship is with our students, and communication regarding issues related to academics or campus life will always be with them. There are times, however, when we will also contact parents. It is important to distinguish between your access to information and the College’s obligation to inform. Consistent with our philosophy of working directly with students as independent adults, the College will notify parents in very limited situations when:

• there is or may be a change in the student’s enrollment or housing status due to academic or disciplinary difficulties, or
• there is a serious medical situation, including being taken to the hospital due to the use of alcohol or other drugs.

This means, for instance, that your daughter or son could have a minor disciplinary record, be receiving counseling, lose credit in an individual class, change residence hall rooms, or be treated for a medical condition, and you would not be notified by the College. We encourage students to keep the lines of communication open with parents in all situations.We are also happy to speak with concerned parents when situations arise, and depending on the circumstances,we may be able to do that freely with permission from the student. Parents will not receive a copy of academic evaluations and should speak with their student about sharing the feedback. This is guided by the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), a federal law designed to protect the privacy of students’ educational records. See the policies and procedures section of this handbook to learn more about FERPA.

Q:New students will have roommates—what if they don’t get along?

A:We do our best to match roommates based on the preferences they express on their housing forms, but successful relationships are difficult to predict. As part of Orientation Week we set aside time for new roommates to talk about issues related to living together.We provide a format for them to talk about things like guests, cleaning, noise, etc. Reaching some agreement about the issues before there are problems can provide a good basis for negotiations and future discussions.

When conflicts do arise, the first resource is the resident adviser (RA), an undergraduate student living in the area who is trained to assist students with residential issues. The RA will talk with students about disagreements, give suggestions on resolving the conflict, serve as a mediator in discussions, and provide support for both parties. If the issues cannot be resolved at this level, the RA may refer the students to the graduate assistant responsible for the area or the assistant dean for residence life for further counsel. If there is no resolution of the conflict through mediation, and the students feel they can no longer live together, a room change is possible after the first three weeks of the semester. The timing and ease of a room change will depend on the availability of open spaces on campus.When housing is full, a change can only take place as part of a switch with another student seeking a change. Every effort will be made to accommodate students living in difficult situations as we realize that tension in living spaces can interfere with other aspects of campus life. However, we do think that learning to work out differences with others is an important part of the education and development of our students, and we will grant room changes only after the possibilities of successful compromise have been fully explored.

Q:Are there resources to support students in their academic work?

A:While all of our students are bright and capable, our academic program may provide challenges not encountered in high school. Students are afforded a great deal of independence with their work, and selfmotivation is very important. Students can easily get behind in their work, as the expectations, especially for written work, are quite high. Because there is not regularly graded work in courses, gauging progress may be difficult for a student used to more traditional feedback. However, students are in close contact with professors, especially their dons. The don is the first person a student should go to if the student is experiencing anxiety about academic work. The Dean of Studies Office also offers assistance in this area. There are writing coordinators on the faculty to help students seeking assistance with writing assignments. While resource people, especially dons, offer personal support and referral information to students, ultimately the student must choose to put in the time required by our rigorous program.

Q:What can I do when I feel concerned about my student?

A:You know your student better than anyone, and you will likely become keenly aware of mood changes and notes of distress in the communications from your daughter or son. Often students use parents as sounding boards and safe places to vent emotions, and that is an important support you can provide for your student. In most cases when students feel upset, it is part of a temporary setback or disappointment, and the emotions pass fairly quickly.Your role may be to suggest that your student take advantage of campus resources or just to listen—and perhaps send cookies. However, sometimes students experience serious emotional problems and intervention is appropriate.

Your past experience with your student is the best guide in helping you decide whether the situation is a temporary one that will pass with time or whether it requires professional assistance. Some of our students come to campus with a history of psychiatric intervention, and you, in consultation with a health care provider, can best assess how any current behavior fits in a context of past mental health patterns. If you have any concerns about your student based on past issues, it is helpful for you to alert Health Services to the situation. All contact with Health Services will be kept confidential. If the messages from your student express extended depression, aggressive feelings, or some disconnection from reality, it is time to seek support. In addition, if you are concerned about unhealthy behaviors such as problematic eating patterns, the use of alcohol or other drugs, or engagement in risky activities, you may wish to seek intervention for your student. The first step is to advise your student to make an appointment with Health Services to seek counseling. Health Services has psychologists, social workers, and psychiatrists on staff who can provide intervention, therapy, and outside referrals for students experiencing emotional difficulties. Our psychiatrist can also prescribe and monitor medications when appropriate.

If your student is not receptive to seeing a mental health professional, you may want to alert the student affairs staff about your concerns by calling the dean of student affairs. The student affairs staff can then actively attempt to engage the student in seeking appropriate support services. If the problems are acute, it may be time for a visit to campus to assess the situation or to have your daughter or son return home until an appropriate solution can be found to alleviate the emotional difficulties. If you feel unsure about what to do, you can always call student affairs or Health Services and talk with a staff member or clinician about possible solutions.

Q:Will there be an opportunity for visits to campus?

A:Parents are welcome to visit any time; you will need to work out the timing and frequency with your student. For many parents the distance from home prohibits casual visits on the weekends, but seeing where your student is living can create an important connection.We do have one special time in the fall, Family Weekend, when we offer programs specifically for family members, with organized opportunities to interact with faculty and staff, and ample time to spend with your student. Family Weekend is November 3 and 4, and you will receive more information in the mail as the date gets closer.

Q:How often should I be in touch with my student?

A:Again, this is a very individual issue. The level of contact may depend on the experience your daughter or son has had in living away from home. If she or he is coming to us after a boarding school or extensive travel experience, limited contact from home might feel comfortable. However, if this is the first year away from home, more frequent opportunities to touch base might be appreciated. Take your cues from your student about phone calls, letters, and e-mails. Anxious to assert new independence, some students may view phone calls every day as intrusive, but an e-mail note might be a nice reminder that home is still there. The contact with home may vary at different times of the academic cycle depending on the stresses of students’ workload. There is no right or wrong way to parent a college student, and the key is keeping the communication open with your student so that you have a sense of the level of contact desired by and comfortable for both of you.

Q:How much spending money do students need?

A:Ask any 10 students and you will get 10 different answers. It depends on the lifestyle to which each student is accustomed. Because food and housing expenses are typically covered through College billing, day-to-day expenses are only those for incidentals and entertainment. Because of our location, most students want to take advantage of what New York City has to offer.Train and subway fares can add up to $25 a visit, and food costs are high in the city. Although there are lots of free activities to take advantage of, students also like to enjoy some of the entertainment here, and even with student discounts, ticket prices can be steep. Local movies run about $10, but the budget-minded can check out cheaper matinees. After much discussion, two students working in the Office of Student Affairs settled on about $100-$200 per month as a fairly accurate reflection of their spending, and both view themselves as fairly frugal. It all comes down to personal expectations. Many students will work on campus (up to 10 hours per week for new students), and employment is also available in the Bronxville area.

Q:Do students need cars on campus?

A:New students are not allowed to keep cars on campus, and, due to limited parking, we discourage other students from bringing them as well. Unless a student has an unusual need, public transportation can satisfy most travel plans conveniently. The College is directly on a bus line, and the train station (with service to New York City and White Plains) is a ten-minute walk from campus.We run a shuttle between campus locations and to the Bronxville train station during evening and nighttime hours.We also run free vans into the city on weekends, and transportation is provided for College-sponsored off-campus activities.

Q:What do students do with their belongings over the summer?

A:Each spring we send a memo to students outlining summer storage options. This year CollegeBoxes, an independent shipping and storage firm,worked with students to provide packing materials as well as to pick up and ship or store their belongings. More information will be sent to students in the spring semester regarding summer storage.

Q:Will my student’s room be cleaned by the College?

A:Operations and Facilities cleans only the common lavatory and living areas in College housing. The common areas of cooperative housing are cleaned once weekly, with the exception of living units with fewer than six students, where residents are responsible for maintaining common areas. Responsibility for housekeeping of individual rooms and bathrooms remains with the students. All housing (residence hall and cooperative) must be maintained by students at all times to standards acceptable to Operations and Facilities and the Office of Student Affairs.

Q:What might I expect on visits home from my student?

A:With new levels of independence established on campus, expectations of accountability to parents on home visits may not match your old standards. It is important to sit down and discuss those expectations to be sure you understand each other with regard to rules and practices. Parents need to respect the individuality and independence that students have worked so hard to achieve, but it is not unreasonable to expect students to understand that you have courtesies and rules that are part of participating in family home life. While transition times can be turbulent, use visits to enjoy the person your student is becoming. Talk with them about successes and disappointments, engage them in discussions about emerging ideas and interests, and truly listen to the stories of the wonderful experience that is college.